Mommyhood is Messy

Before becoming a mom, I had an "idea" of what it would entail. I mean, my brothers are 5 and 11 years younger than I am. I was like a second mom to my youngest brother when he came around. It wasn't that bad. I was, of course, forgetting that I wasn't actually the mom and didn't have all the responsibilities that my mom had. I just got to make my brother laugh, hold him on occasion and well....that's about it.

Before becoming a mom the words poop, puke, pee, snot, fart etc were not a common occurrence in my vocabulary. In fact, they were hardly spoken at all. Bodily functions were not a topic of conversation between my husband and I. Like at all.

Then comes a baby into the world and in an instant, everything changes. You went from not even saying the words, to being covered in the substance. My first daughter was not even a minute old, we were snuggling skin to skin, and she pooped....all.over.me. That yucky first baby poop too, so you can imagine how easy that was to clean up. Thus began what would become a common occurrence in my journey of mommyhood. Within the first couple weeks I had been pooped on (several times), peed on, puked on, drooled on, farted on, and everything else in-between. I quickly realized that mommyhood is messy.

Now after 3 kids, I can add upchuck and snot to the list as well. It's not pretty. It's beyond messy. Literally, because these wee ones somehow project things such as puke, poop and pee, all over the floor, themselves, their clothes, your clothes and really, maybe we should just confine ourselves to the bath tub till they are old 7 years old. Those over-zealous baby eaters who can't contain the milk and it would seem, half of what they drank comes back up, with such force it could white wash a wall! My husband and I have been in awe at the distance and places our baby has been able to project their puke. It's actually quite impressive! But it's super messy....and gross when you don't even realize it happened and then you step into the warm mess with your bare feet....mmmm.....delicious.

Those words we never said before kids are now an everyday part of our vocabulary, as common as words like "I", "the", and "you". In other words, they are said all.the.time. And somehow, not only are they conversed about, they are funny too! My girls think it's hilarious to talk about poop (or as my middle child has fondly nicknamed it..."ewws"), farting, or any other bodily functions. If someone farts, it's a giggle fest in our house and its become a game to guess who did it, or if it's the Flarp that my kids enjoy playing with, because it also sounds like farting.

Never did I imagine my life would also consist of smelling butts. Literally, smelling butts. When you're a mom and you have a baby, and you're not sure if they pooped or not, the most logical thing to do is press your baby's butt to your nose and sniff to see if they've done the deed. Never mind peeking inside the diaper to see. That's too much work, because anyone who has a baby knows there are endless snaps and buttons and those squirmy baby's are like wrestling a wet octopus. If you don't have to undo those snaps, you don't!

Never did I imagine I would be saying "bye-bye ewws" with my 2 year old as we flush the toilet. That changing a diaper could be so exciting to the older kids as they peer in to see what "treasures" it hold (like really?) And who knew poop could be such a diverse topic!? My oldest is always in awe. "Look at all the colours in that one!" "That's a BIG one!" "That one looks like a banana". Seriously?

And of course, once baby gets older, then the peeing and pooping all over on themselves and you stop....and then potty training commences and pee and poop are everywhere once again, only this time it's not breast milk poop and it's on the floor, in panties, flooding the bathroom, etc. And you don't know whether to laugh or cry and the shower holds a seemingly endless cycle of children. Next to breathing, wiping little butts seems to be my constant....all day long. Mommyhood is messy.

Then we have the sniffles and colds that come and go. This can be a bitter/sweet time, when you're sweet babies just want to snuggle in on your lap and enjoy your warmth, yet are so miserable. And as you snuggle your warm sweetie, you lean down, kiss their head, breathe them in and are savouring that moment, when suddenly they sneeze all over you and wipe their nose on your shirt. And suddenly that beautiful moment has passed as you are covered in sticky snot. But you stroke their head and while reaching for the kleenex, change your shirt for the umpteenth time, and find yourself not even phased, because you're now well acquainted with the fact that, mommyhood is messy.

And of course, we must also move beyond the bodily messes that inevitably occur. These tiny beings have a tendency to create messes at speeds that would rival a tornado! Some easily cleaned, some not so much. I once walked into my living room to find it had been entirely covered in black sharpie (thank goodness for lemon essential oil). I'm always amazed how I can have a room spick and span one moment, and the next thing I know, you can't even see the floor. And when you have more than one, they work in tandem to make the messes doubly fast! I can only imagine how crazy it will be when my third begins to join in the mess making fun. Cleaning up these messes while the kids are still awake, well, that basically an exercise in futility! Embracing the mess goes against every fibre of my being. It's taken much willpower to let go and some days I lose that battle. But in the letting go is the ability to not only flourish myself, but to see my girls grow in creativity, and also learn social skills, like cleaning up after themselves (although we are still working on that one most days).

But if there's one thing I am learning in all the messy, it's that it is truly beautiful. How, you may ask? Well, it means that I have littles running around making those messes, and that alone is a blessing beyond understanding. I will take those messes, whether yucky, funny, crazy, easily cleaned or not, and I will embrace them. For what they represent means more than the mess itself.

Enjoy the mess mama, for one day, there will be no mess, and all will be in order and quiet, and perhaps, just a smidgen lonely. Embrace this stage, hard as it may be, and savour the messy.

~Aryn